1. Those idiotic little text faces are not welcome in my journal. Do not use them.

2. Typos are forgivable, but I sincerely doubt that the incomprehensibility of some of your comments and posts can be blamed on accidental slips of the finger. Use spell-check, or shut up.

3. I do not believe in friends. Do not attempt to convince me otherwise, or prepare to be maimed.

4. I do not believe in fate, either. This is the one and only time you will find that word appearing in this journal.

5. Magic? Likewise. Same goes for all manners of assorted superstitious and religious concepts you've raved and drooled about at one point or another. I do not care, end of story.

6. Pharaohs? They're dead. Dust. As one of you numbskulls might put it, "gone bye-bye." My journal is a zombie free zone, and accordingly, all mentions of imaginary reanimated corpses are to be kept out.

7. Your mental instabilities are not my problem. Keep your hallucinations and split-personalities out as well.

8. You know what? Just don't talk. Speak when spoken to. Shut up, otherwise.

9. Do not expect me to update often, as I have more important things to do than inform you of the details of my busy life, though I'm sure you have nothing better to do than cling pathetically to any mundane scrap I throw in your direction; likewise, do not expect me to comment ever, as there is nothing you could possibly have to say that would interest me.

10. Do not provoke me. You will not win.